My vote in the lamest current police trend category is for the growing usage of Segways by police, as seen here. This is being perpetrated in the name of Community-Oriented Policing because it allegedly brings the officer into more direct contact with the environment while enabling increased mobility. Add to that increased nerdiness, decreased self-esteem, and increased “ha ha, that guy is on a Segway, how perfectly silly”.
Segways are lame, that’s just the end of the story. For proof I refer to two pop culture icons. If you haven’t seen it already, watch Weird Al’s brilliant parody video of Chamillionaire’s “Ridin’ Dirty” in which Weird Al rolls up on two brothers on a Segway. Those of you who enjoy Arrested Development no doubt remember Gob. He had a Segway with his own name on it. What I’m getting at is that Segways are not proper transportation for highly-trained Law Enforcement professionals. There’s a dissonance between being armed with deadly weapons and riding along on a Segway. You might think I’m being too concerned with appearance, but on the street appearance is everything.
They see me roll on
my Segway
I know in my heart they think I’m
White and nerdy-Weird Al
